How To Meditate

I always fancied myself as someone who’d be the kind of person who meditated. I liked the aesthetic of meditation – the modern, new-age hippy vibes, the long hair and flowing floral patterns, white linens and wide-open french doors and patchouli smelling shit. Even though the only time I closed my eyes and shut my brain off was […]

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Discomfort

I go to AA meetings at a meeting house that’s about a three-minute walk from my doorstep – down the block and across the street. On my way there, every time, I pass two A-boards – one outside the wine shop that I live above, and one outside one an improv comedy theatre across the street (the […]

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St. Patrick’s Day

All last week, people kept asking me what I think of St. Patrick’s Day in the USA. You might as well ask me if I like roller-blading. I mean, sure I do, but I’m not sure what it’s got to do with the St. Patrick’s Day I grew up with. For one, in Chicago this […]

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Paperwork

A few weeks ago, on my brother’s twentieth birthday and February’s full moon, I celebrated twenty-one months of sobriety. I didn’t know how to feel; that number feels like it has both an impalpable significance and a complete lack thereof. A year and-a-half sounds better; a year and three quarters is too ten year-old-y; and nearly two years is (according […]

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Spirituality

I’ve known for a while that my spirituality was slowly slipping. It’s such a gradual thing, but in the last few months, with being back in Ireland, I knew that perhaps I was praying and meditating less – still doing it, but making excuses most nights, like “It’s too cold to sit on the floor” […]

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Identity

I am a mystery to myself. Most people, I think, were getting to know themselves throughout their late teens and early to mid-twenties; meanwhile I was doing everything I could to avoid that (the primary reason being that I was scared there wasn’t a person underneath the facade I’d constructed). I’d rather have been taken as the sum of […]

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Family

I think that when most people say “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family”, what they mean is that you must put up with your family and love them regardless of how fucking annoying they might be. But in my family, it meant that you’re under no real obligation to hang […]

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